New Cry

This post could be about me or my little one, considering that these hormones are still redistributing and so I regularly find myself tearing up when I look at him, watch him sleep, think about his future, talk to him etc. But mainly, it's about him. When we first brought him home, his cry was hysterical. It was like he was yelling at us all the time. I was scared he had colic, mainly because I heard horror stories about my first 6months of life and was sure I'd be paid back for what I'd put my parents through, but also because I read entirely too much and I was (and still am a bit) on high alert (aka. edge). Anyway, now his cries aren't nearly as high pitched and his face doesn't get as red. I can tell the difference between annoyance ( like having his diaper changed) and sleepyness ( like I don't wanna look at your face any more, swaddle me and put me down) and I'm kinda proud of myself!

I enjoy staring at him when he sleeps and I wish a camera could capture what I see. However, everytime I snap a pic, it's never quite what I was looking for. I take several pictures a day, but usually only one is usable. I also enjoy stroking the soft hair on his head as I feed him and massaging his skinny thighs and legs. I love assembling his outfits, but hate dressing him because I feel like I'll break him. My brain knows that babies are extremely resilient and that I wouldn't literally break him or probably really even hurt him, but my heart just hates to hear him cry. I guess I'd better get over that though, huh?

My husband was a tremendous help during the first 7 days of Andrew's life, especially since I couldn't do much physically. But, now he manages to sleep through 2-7am feedings/crying. How? I have no clue! As soon as I hear a whimper, I'm wide awake and figuring out how to make it stop. I definitely still appreciate his presence and thank God that I'm not a single mother. Although we're arguing over ridiculous things (like Andrew wearing a repeat outfit or whether to bring the carseat into the house). I'm sure these disputes will only get greater as Andrew ages, so I'm trying to learn how to deal with it now.

16 days old... wow! He already looks so different. I'm excited for the weeks to come :)

Announcing Andrew Noah Jones!

I couldn't imagine what it would be like before he got here. To actually see and hold him... Well, I did imagine, but I was just so off. I mean, it's so much better! He's tinier than I thought he'd be, considering all of the cheeseburgers he commanded me to eat! Only 5lbs 15oz when he was born and down to 5lbs 8oz when we got to leave the hospital, but a week later he weighs 6lbs 5oz, almost a whole pound more! I'm glad he's growing because I was worried about my breastmilk supply, but that's all behind me now, I feel secure in that area.

Of course I'm not getting any sleep during normal sleeping hours and I've already had to do a load of laundry, but watching him sleep is so rewarding. He looks so angelic and I even catch glimpses of smiles--like the picture (which are probably gas, but cute nonetheless). God truly blessed me with him and I pray I can raise him the way the Lord sees fit.

The pain I endured bringing him into the world was incredible... like unbelievable. After being in the hospital for over 24 hours and going through 18 hours of labor ( 3 of those spent pushing), I ended up having to go under the knife and have a cesarean section because my little angel was facing up and his head couldn't get through the birth canal. Not only was the actual surgery not as painless as I thought it'd be( they did give me numbing drugs, but I guess I expected magic), the recovery is killer. Laughing is my most favorite thing to do, however, these stitches make it utterly undesirable. It hurts like heck. As does coughing and generally moving the "wrong" way. I know I'll share the story with Andrew when he's old enough to care, but it's so funny because I can hardly remember the intensity of the pain and some of the memories are hazy. I was so sure it would be an experience I'd never forget, yet I just remember the most important part... getting to see my son :)

Artsy?

So, I got a new camera for Christmas. Mainly in preparation for Andrew's arrival, but also because my wonderful hubby broke my old one. He claims he "fixed" it, however it never worked the same for me after he dropped it on our honeymoon in Mexico :) So, I've been trying my hand at being artistic in some photo taking in hopes of landing a good one that I can frame and make some bathroom art (or any other room really) out of! This was my first attempt.

Thoughts while Counting Down

No one knows when this little boy will come, no one but the Lord and He ain't telling! It's kinda funny because I'm not as stressed as everyone around me seems to be. Though I do want to see my baby, I'm not that tired of being pregnant. And of course these new aches and pains can definitely go, but I'm content to wait on Andrew to arrive when he's ready. When he gets here, then I'll be stressed, then I'll be anxious, then I'll be consumed, but right now I'm rather enjoying doing nothing in particular. I've slept late everyday this week (well, except for the 10am doc appointment and yes, that does count as being early) and lounged around in my pj's, reading, napping and watching tv. I'm sure it would get boring if I didn't know that it would be ending soon, but I do!

I think about how life with Andrew will be different all the time. He's not even here yet and I can barely remember what I used to do before his conception. I need to find a hobby! One that will take me out of the house. I don't want to end up like so many stay-at-home moms I hear about that go crazy because their whole life is their kid. Maybe I'll volunteer at the YMCA or... I can't think of anything else right now, but I'm gonna work on it.

12 Days to Go...

Being so close to seeing my little baby boy, I think I should feel something more than I do. I'm excited, stressed, achy, excited and ready, yet apprehensive. I don't know many new moms or young moms, so I don't know exactly what's normal to feel. I just know that I'm in love with someone I don't really know yet! I can't wait to look into his brown eyes and talk to him and sing to him (I hear they don't care if you're on key or not, which is a good thing, since I have been known to sing out of tune :)