Tuesday, April 21, 2009
This post could be about me or my little one, considering that these hormones are still redistributing and so I regularly find myself tearing up when I look at him, watch him sleep, think about his future, talk to him etc. But mainly, it's about him. When we first brought him home, his cry was hysterical. It was like he was yelling at us all the time. I was scared he had colic, mainly because I heard horror stories about my first 6months of life and was sure I'd be paid back for what I'd put my parents through, but also because I read entirely too much and I was (and still am a bit) on high alert (aka. edge). Anyway, now his cries aren't nearly as high pitched and his face doesn't get as red. I can tell the difference between annoyance ( like having his diaper changed) and sleepyness ( like I don't wanna look at your face any more, swaddle me and put me down) and I'm kinda proud of myself!
I enjoy staring at him when he sleeps and I wish a camera could capture what I see. However, everytime I snap a pic, it's never quite what I was looking for. I take several pictures a day, but usually only one is usable. I also enjoy stroking the soft hair on his head as I feed him and massaging his skinny thighs and legs. I love assembling his outfits, but hate dressing him because I feel like I'll break him. My brain knows that babies are extremely resilient and that I wouldn't literally break him or probably really even hurt him, but my heart just hates to hear him cry. I guess I'd better get over that though, huh?
My husband was a tremendous help during the first 7 days of Andrew's life, especially since I couldn't do much physically. But, now he manages to sleep through 2-7am feedings/crying. How? I have no clue! As soon as I hear a whimper, I'm wide awake and figuring out how to make it stop. I definitely still appreciate his presence and thank God that I'm not a single mother. Although we're arguing over ridiculous things (like Andrew wearing a repeat outfit or whether to bring the carseat into the house). I'm sure these disputes will only get greater as Andrew ages, so I'm trying to learn how to deal with it now.
16 days old... wow! He already looks so different. I'm excited for the weeks to come :)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I couldn't imagine what it would be like before he got here. To actually see and hold him... Well, I did imagine, but I was just so off. I mean, it's so much better! He's tinier than I thought he'd be, considering all of the cheeseburgers he commanded me to eat! Only 5lbs 15oz when he was born and down to 5lbs 8oz when we got to leave the hospital, but a week later he weighs 6lbs 5oz, almost a whole pound more! I'm glad he's growing because I was worried about my breastmilk supply, but that's all behind me now, I feel secure in that area.
Of course I'm not getting any sleep during normal sleeping hours and I've already had to do a load of laundry, but watching him sleep is so rewarding. He looks so angelic and I even catch glimpses of smiles--like the picture (which are probably gas, but cute nonetheless). God truly blessed me with him and I pray I can raise him the way the Lord sees fit.
The pain I endured bringing him into the world was incredible... like unbelievable. After being in the hospital for over 24 hours and going through 18 hours of labor ( 3 of those spent pushing), I ended up having to go under the knife and have a cesarean section because my little angel was facing up and his head couldn't get through the birth canal. Not only was the actual surgery not as painless as I thought it'd be( they did give me numbing drugs, but I guess I expected magic), the recovery is killer. Laughing is my most favorite thing to do, however, these stitches make it utterly undesirable. It hurts like heck. As does coughing and generally moving the "wrong" way. I know I'll share the story with Andrew when he's old enough to care, but it's so funny because I can hardly remember the intensity of the pain and some of the memories are hazy. I was so sure it would be an experience I'd never forget, yet I just remember the most important part... getting to see my son :)