I miss my blog and being able to get my inane thoughts out in literary form. Now my writings have been trained to be educational and intellectual. The nerve of graduate school! I'm awake at 6 am writing papers about federal and agency policies and law. I know it's important. After all, I'm the one that chose to study this field of work. I'm interested in it most days, but I just feel like it's taking so much from ME. As if I wasn't already spread thin as a mom and wife, adding school to the mix just made life an extra dose of crazy. Plus, I'm a recovering perfectionist (which is probably like a recovering alcoholic in that any moment could be the moment when you revert back to your old ways) which makes everything more difficult- even those things I love.
Looking back at my past writings makes me sad. Where is that woman? The one who synthesized beautiful thoughts and came out with clearer purpose after doing so. Is she still in me? Sometimes I honestly don't know. I think I may have killed her... or more aptly, let her die, which would be just as bad if we were talking about an actual person, right?