Tuesday, April 3, 2012
I’m trying to challenge myself to write something every day (even if it is about mundane daily life). Writing has always been my passion, but lately the flame has been extinguished by motherhood and wife duties. I find I’m losing a lot of what made me special, what made me feel important and unique. How can I teach my children to set goals and believe in themselves if I let the monumental blessing of running a household squash my own? My biggest fear is screwing my kids up. Like literally. It’s amazing how priorities change. I used to worry about my own career and health and future, but now my longest prayers are for my two precious boys.
That being said, I hope I do get accepted into the grad school program I applied for last month. I’ve been telling myself that it didn’t matter if I was accepted or not because I was proud of myself for even completing the grueling process (which I am), but more truthfully, I want to get in. I want to show my babies (who won’t be babies forever), that their mommy was a woman too. A person with desires and dreams and the courage to follow them. I want to have my identity back. And let’s be honest, I want to have something to throw myself into when they inevitably throw me out of their room during those dreaded teenage years.
As a child of God, I know that I have a purpose in this world. It’s obvious to me that one of those purposes is building up these boys that I’ve birthed into the men that will prayerfully run successful families and businesses. But, I’m also on a mission to discover what my other possible purposes could be. I’m excited as I await a letter from Valdosta State University, in the hopes that they saw the awesomeness that is me!